Moms OK, She Just Forgets: The Alzheimers Journey from Denial to Acceptance

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From daily home maintenance like mowing the lawn and keeping track of medications to legal planning, paperwork and research, we all have our role.

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Two of those women continue to be part of my personal support system. We are all in very different stages now, but when I have a bad day, I can message or text them, and they understand what I am going through like no one else in my life. One of these women invited me to go to some classes with her that would help me understand what my mom was going through using role play. At first it seemed kind of silly, but boy did I learn a lot about how I was making things worse when I interacted with my mom!

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Now I try not to correct her, and I try to understand the frustration she must feel when she recognizes that she is forgetting things. Knowing about what resources are available has helped me in other ways, such as researching financial advice in order to hold onto the childhood property that has been in my family since our grandparents came to America from Czechoslovakia. For me, planning and understanding how to have these difficult conversations with our family as a whole has been vital.

And as for mom? She benefits from talking to others with the disease at awareness meetings. Meeting with people who are so driven and determined to defeat this disease gives us hope. Advocates with no personal connection to the disease who speak in local meeting provide assistance and news. Everyone plays an important role. And as a woman, the daughter of someone with Alzheimer's and a mother, I know something needs to be done. I am not embarrassed to ask for help. I am never a victim… I get that from mom. Donate Now. Take the Brain Tour. Learn More. ALZ Blog. Share or Print this page.

Caregiving and Ambiguous Loss , 2 p. This feeling can lead to depression, anxiety, and other health problems. This fact sheet offers tips for coping with the ambiguity of caring for a person with memory loss. Available from the Family Caregiver Alliance. E-mail: info caregiver.

She was only pretending to forget: A family in denial even after the patient’s death

Caregiving Resource Center This website from AARP offers information, tools, and tips for caregivers, including advice on stress management and caregiver support. Published by AARP.

E-mail: member aarp. This book by Lynda A.

The Alzheimer’s and dementia care journey

Topics include early symptoms and diagnosis, behavior changes, emotions, and coping with losses. Published by Vanderbilt University Press. E-mail: vupress vanderbilt. Depression and Caregiving , 4 p. Many caregivers of people with dementia suffer from depression.

This tip sheet describes how to spot the symptoms of depression and what to do if you think you might be depressed. Medication, psychotherapy, and other treatments are described. This booklet guides professionals to help caregivers who are angry with the care recipient, other family members, or professionals they feel are unresponsive or insensitive. The booklet presents typical scenarios and suggested responses for professionals to help caregivers maintain self-control and deal more effectively with difficult circumstances.

Tips to help caregivers deal with sadness and guilt are also offered. Available from the Duke Family Support Program. Phone: or E-mail: lisa. This website offers online information and stress management training for family caregivers of people with Alzheimer's disease or another dementia.

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The NIA-funded project includes online training videos and articles that cover dealing with stress, how to relax, managing difficult behaviors, communication skills, and other topics. Developed in collaboration with Stanford University and the Alzheimer's Association. Produced by Photozig Inc. E-mail: icare photozig. The others are from caregivers across the United States. This book by Evelyn McLay and Ellen Young focuses on denial in families caring for a loved one with dementia.


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Denial may seem to be an acceptable coping mechanism when faced with an incurable disease, but the failure to accept reality can make things worse for the person with dementia and his or her family. The authors suggest behaviors, tools, and techniques for moving beyond denial to loving action and an improved attitude. As she struggles to balance the ever-increasing demands of her mother with those of her three children and husband, the author must find time for her own needs.

This is not a how-to book on caregiving, but an honest exploration of the impact of caregiving on relationships, beliefs, and lives.



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